Dear Seizures,
I wish I didn’t have you because you limit my freedom from staying up all night, I can never deprive myself of sleep, per my neurologist who told me lack of sleep triggers you. Video gaming, I used to love playing for long periods of time, now I can’t. Last two tonic clonics (seizures) were when I was playing my games, this totally sucks. I also must take medicine twice a day, which causes drowsiness and bonus, aggression. I’m always tired even though I don’t like to admit it. I hate the way you make me feel after I’ve had a tonic-clonic, I feel lethargic/lifeless. I also hate not remembering what happened either after I have one of you, it’s scary when you wake up in the hospital not knowing why you’re there. I also forgot how wonderful it was when I almost lost my bottom teeth because of you. Because of that, I had to have my jaw wired and it was extremely painful, thanks.
However, in a strange way, you have helped me a lot, despite the minor life changes/set-backs. You have given me more strength. You have added fuel to my fire in a good way because I can now add you to my list. Now, whenever I am challenged or someone says/implies that I can’t do something, I say, “Bring it on.” The reason for this is because I have already had to endure many life challenges before this, so this isn’t a big deal. I figure if I can get through this added diagnosis, then I can do anything.
Why this has allowed me to grow, because it was/has been hard to deal with. However, at the same time, in addition to giving me strength, it has disciplined me to take care of myself better. My diet has had to change, I don’t consume a lot of the foods I used to, so I feel better. I also don’t, even though I want to pull an all-nighter, get an adequate amount of sleep. In addition, also by having this diagnosis, it helps me to be responsible by taking my medication regularly. According to Professor Finley, she stated, “Gaining a true understanding of positive human development cannot continue to ignore our resilience and growth incurred through difficult and sometimes negative experiences.” (Finley, 2020, slide 5) I completely agree with this statement because I’m living proof, one can never know what they’re truly made of until their faced with some sort of adversity/challenge. This doesn’t mean that you have to experience the worst, but anything that is hard for you, we’re all different.
Citation
Finley, K. (2020). Meaning in Life [PowerPoint Presentation]. Retrieved from CAMS.
Ian's Blog 
Great blog Ian! I really connected with a lot of what you said, understand it, and loved reading it. I know it’s really hard to have to take multiple medications, struggle, and pretend like everything is just perfect. For me, I wouldn’t be as strong as I am without the challenges I have been faced with, so I really agreed with everything you said. My question for you is, when you’re feeling down about yourself because of the things the personified seizures make you feel, what are some ways you pick yourself up again? Great post!
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To answer your question, I don’t feel down about having Epilepsy because it doesn’t define who I am. I know that I could still have them, but I just have to keep living and take care of myself.
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Not letting something like seizures define you as a person is something really hard to do. You do not let this bring you down, even though this is not something easy to deal with. In what way has dealing with seizures helped you become a stronger person in life?
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To answer your question, they provide motivation for me whenever something is challenging because if I can deal with that, then I can deal with anything.
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